Chesterfield M1s 1 - 2 Durham City M1s

An unusually subdued funbus and Timmy’s swanky Sandero sidled down to Chesterfield this Saturday in search of three points and revenge: having lost 3-4 at home in October, we were keen to make a two hour journey there worth our while – especially now the change in petrol money reimbursements means Iain is no longer planning his early retirement. Thankfully, we won with a professional performance that was far from out best, but which displayed some tactical nous and game management that we have often lacked in this higher league. With captain Matt Kettley munching some baguettes across the pond, brother Steve pulled on the armband and led us on a warm-up that involved tig.

The novel approach proved fecund, as we scored with our first short-corner. Who else but Iain? 0-1. To be honest, very little else happened in the first half. We had a couple of chances, so did they. Nothing came for either side. George, Duncan, and Will all showed their attacking credentials as they frequently stormed forwards from their wing-back positions to cause problems for the Chesterfield defenders. Up top, Chesterfield were lacking. With George’s Tassie bestie and the Mexican maestro missing, they offered little in front of goal except some exceptionally bizarre short-corner routines.

The second half was much the same. We took a little bit longer to score this time. Steve smashed in the ball from the right of the ‘D’ to make it 0-2. Shez ran into a Chesterfield midfielder. Shez was floored, but his obstacle just looked around confusedly, wondering if a wasp had briefly landed on him. Chesterfield clawed a goal back through two instances of sheer luck. First, they won a short corner when the ball found Iain’s foot in the ‘D’ after a rudimentary mistrap from a Chesterfield forward; then a good save from Matt Coe rebounded straight into an unfocussed forward’s dangling stick and trickled into the net. 2-1. We amped up the pressure. We never looked like we were going to lose in retrospect, but at the time it felt tense. We kept our composure under pressure – perhaps a long-overdue first for this season – and worked the ball around. Then the unthinkable happened. One of our short-corners broke down – the ball fell to Timmy Hassle on the left. He shoots! He scores! Running back after the goal with airplane arms and a massive grin on his face, Timmy was the picture of happiness – and we were certainly relieved! A strange period of silence ensued. The game didn’t restart. Suddenly, Timmy’s goal was disallowed. Apparently, the ball had hit a foot before falling to Timmy. Who knows how a few minutes of reflection revealed that? How cruel to rip away a long-awaited goal from The Seal. No charity in Chesterfield. We piled back to defend for the last few minutes and ground out the game. After the game, Chesterfield’s changing rooms were rocking, whereas we were more reserved – perhaps a reflection of our elite mentality?

We retired to the Britannia Inn for an eclectic tea: a single sausage per person, a mixing bowl full of chips, and some sandwiches resembling cricket teas. At least they made sure to ID the perpetually young Duncan. If Paul Karamath was there, they’d accuse him of having a fake ID. It was a sleepy bus back, but our dreams were sweet and full of three points. Lets hope next week’s double-header isn’t a nightmare as we face Hull on Saturday and Shallam on Sunday. Please come down to support!

MoM: Timmy Hassle (for not scoring)

DoD: Shez (fully folded)

#Signed,Sealed,Delivered(NoScores) #CanISeeSomeIduncification? #Plyming’sPillow