Lindum M2’s 1 - 6 Durham City M1s

Saturday 23rd of March 2024 is when DCHC has made even more history. The boys in Gold and Black have gone UNBEATEN finishing the year with a record of 20-2-0 with a ridiculous goal difference that may not be touched in future years.

The final game of the season was a repeat of the previous fixture against Lindum. Last time out it was a feisty affair with the boys managing to pull it out the bag with a 2-1 win meaning Lindum were really keen for the turnaround and fancied themselves at home to topple us over. The view of the away fixture definitely put people off as `injuries’ and excuses flooded in. Name and shame time lads. Stevie `Glass’ Kettley had is ankle injury still from last fixture as well as Blair putting off the fixture with a supposed knee injury. However, the cake must have to go to Mr.Lastminute.com of Matt Kettley as he had a holiday booked in by the mrs that he didn’t even know about leaving him out of the selection as well. Now you might be thinking… the VC and Captain both out, who will take the boys to victory!! Captain S**tHouse to the rescue!!!! As my illustrate last game I got given the great honour to lead the lads out against the stinky Lindum side.

The weather boded well for a good game as the sun was finally shining in the north but the wind did in fact never stop. The first battle was won at the coin toss as I won the coin toss because tails never fails, the mind games the commenced as the opposition skipper said ‘only bringing 11 is bold’. To keep it short looks like we only needed 11 to beat your 15 man squad ;).

The boys dominated the possession in the first half with a flurry of counter attacks as well as some very solid defence prowess. We knew what was coming with the very high press they showed us in the reverse fixture so we built around that with an abscess of screen in the midfield even an Apple Store would be jealous. These lead to the catastrophic failure of their press as we breezed through it like the wind attacking down the flanks with our know `speedsters’ of Ant and Rob. Sadly no goals came from our significant amount of counter attacks as Iain heavily pointed out `WHY ISN’T THERE ANYONE AT THE BACK POST’, as in all fairness the Wang miester was back and absolutely pinging them in from right back with precision accuracy to that post. Lindum although having a nearly a full bench still couldn’t out work the men in gold and couldn’t find a way through at all with having minimal entries into our D. The only other real highlights of the half was a Lindum forward saying that my chat was stale with Chris replying he’s just warming up and so correct he was!! Another highlight was the ever eager fuelled flying Repton Pirlo bombing it down the left hand side with some silky skills impressing his parents on the sideline. First half 0-0.

After a very strong performance in the first half the boys were blowing but new this game was far from over and we could definitely be on the cards for history as well as securing the win. The second half was absolutely goals galore with the first coming 2 minutes into the half as Rob the Yorkshire Buffet got the ball passed straight to him in our high press to the calm as you like rifle it into the back of the net whilst the Dragon was screaming at the top of his lungs for its back stick but nahhhhh Rob doesn’t take the easy route, Bang 1-0 to the good. From then on the home side got seriously antsy and started panicking around the back as well as loose passes all around the gaff. Shez’s Goal. Then we were just living rent free in Lindum’s head and the goals kept flowing like the River Tyne having the most experienced man on the pitch Ant scoring his first of the game in the 51st minute as he was in the right place at the right time on a penalty corner to put it past the keeper. 3-0. As the boys were feeling comfortable with their hands firmly on the game we lost focus on the game for a period of 10 minute which was punished by Lindum by them going full on attack mode getting into our D on multiple occasions and winning as foot which they just decided to be boring and rifle the ball with a hit into the corner. Completely fair play but be more fun next time please. 3-1. The pressure kept on building as Durham kept the onslaught coming and made it even worse when The Wang Miester even pointed to his opposite man where he was putting and and my god did that ball fly into the D for the man himself to claim another goal to his tally deflected the incoming ball into the top left corner!!! 4-1 !!! But as some wise men once said pressure makes diamonds and diamonds we did create, the boys didn’t think 4 was enough so we had enough of it and went attacking hungry for some more. We finally won 1 of our very few short corners of the game, and lets just say the Repton Pirlo didn’t disappoint as a failed routine came upon us with him keeping calm and blasting it to the right post just for the post man to put it into his own goal. He celebrated like he just won champions league final with some outstretched arms replicating Jude Bellingoal for his first DCHC goal in front of all the cheering fans and family. 5-1!! At this point Lindum had just fully given up and a few of their old heads got a bit cranky especially when one decided to slide tackle BB8 and got put on the naughty step with a green card. Now as we were cruising along trying to see this game out I think I might have seen the most audacious, extravagant, improbable, preposterous, absurd goal I think I’ve ever seen. This is a contender for the Puskas award let’s just say that, with BB8 flying the ball low overhead into the D for Ant to pick off to then proceed to hit the ball over his head and over the incoming keeper with his second touch just leaving everyone in ore of what they have just witnessed and chaos erupted and celebration began. 6-1 to the boys! The ump decided to then end the onslaught finishing the game at 6-1 and the boys completely the unimaginable unbeaten season and a season to remember for the ages.

MOM was Ant for his hattie and Puskas Nominated goal

DOD was a 3 way tie between Shez, Jack and Will. Which was in the end not decided because none of them wanted to do a boat race to decide unfortunately