Durham City M1s 2 - 1 Lindum M2s

DCHC Match Report

Hello, Guten Tag my people of DCHC,

This match report comes from the one and only ??, otherwise known as AP or Power Pack or if you are boring, it’s Alex. The skipper decided to call in the big guns for these last two matches as there has been quite a lack of match reports recently. However, I will give the Repton Pirlo his credit as they have been class and I did request that I do these last two as my loan spell at the club is coming to an end sadly. But enough of that and on to the juicy part of the match report !!!

It was a gloomy day in Durham where the lads were surprisingly unready for the game ahead as a few of the lads were still asleep or taking a dump respectively making them late. Shout out goes to Rohil who thought the meet time was at 11:30 and still was a glamorous 10 mins late to that. However, we knew today was going to be a good day as the Dragon didn’t oversleep probably because his mrs was there to wake him up. But more importantly he brought his laced spicy Doritos!! Still very curious to know whats in them. Ant brought out a brand new stick courtesy of One Warehouse and was very happy with himself as a smile didn’t leave his face the whole time, expecting plenty of goals in the last 2 games of the season with that. Onto sadder news MK decided to ruin my morning and say that I’m getting immediately replaced by a bigger, better and more handsome South African when I leave, bet he won’t be as fun so enjoy. MK gave his all inspiring team speech of the usual antics and the boys were ready to defend the fortress against a keen Lindum team.

With an absolute domination job starting off we caught Lindum with there pants down as the passage of plays were flowing like the river Nile, but did seem like none of these sensual bits of hockey had any beans to it as we couldn’t convert any chances. Unfortunately Durham had to survive the majority of the game with 1 sub as Stevie got absolutely thunder blasted in the foot sidelining him for the rest of the game and things were tough on the fitness levels from then on. UNTIL a foot was won and a whistle for a short corner was blown. Without the likes of Dobbo or Ben Wang Baker in the side, Iain was gagging for his time to shine at the top of the D with his flicking stick. It wasn’t the prettiest flick we’ve seen this year but it felt was like the first summer morning hit Maiden Castle as he zinged it just above the ground for the keeper to boot the ball into his own top right corner. 1-0!!!. The boys looked to stay on top of a slightly harder aggressing Lindum side who have now decided to go to a full pitch press. From this high press it left them quite vulnerable at the back especially with the speed comparison between our forwards and there centre back, unfortunately our conversion rate was a poor as George Ford performance off the tee against Ireland. Late into the 2nd half I was sure a goal was going to be coming because I’m pretty sure we spent a solid 10 minutes in their 25, even much so that I got a nosebleed from being to high up the pitch lurking around the back post hoping for something to snag but unfortunately the woes continue. End of first half 1-0 to Durham.

The 2nd might have been the worst half of hockey I think I’ve witnessed in a long old while because it was an absolute shambles from both sides. The terrible antics of this start where the man with the most glorious hair was absolutely bombing it down the right hand flank leaving Lindum players in his wake being mystified by his hair and silky skills. Only to be absolutely taken out by the last defender and subsequently fly across the top of the D like superman’s son. Thankfully the Repton Pirlo got a pass away to the eager Rohil begging for the ball and why did he do that you may ask? It’s because he followed it up with the absolute sling of his lifetime to a diving like Tom Daley MK who was always going to be at that back post for a pure poachers finish. 2-0 UP THE CITY!!! The rest of the half was like we stepped into the ring of a cage match in WWE, Shez first got absolutely clotheslined by a bloke after he couldn’t keep his legs shut whilst Shez put the ball through them, He got caught with his pants down and didn’t like it at all so decided to take out the competition instead. Shez took this personally as he joined in on the action, He must of taken some lesson from Ray Misterio as he somehow performed a flying elbow to a guys face who was most definitely taller than him leaving everyone completely star struck that Shez has actually floored a guy. Rob even thought it was me who did it which shows how much it was a shock to us. A flurry of green cards came next in the game as they started it off with `Moustache Man’ was the first to go to the bin for what I can remember being a terrible tackle followed up by some terrible chat. Genuinely thought I was fishing in the most fish infested lake in the world with how badly the visitors were nibbling at any tiny bits of bait that were left in the water. However, I think that bait caught Iain now known as grey sleeves off guard as he was trying to start a ruckus with one of their players in the middle field squaring up face to face showdown style. It all ended though as he said to the bloke - Watch out I do cross fit, look how tight my shirt is. You don’t want this. Turns out he didn’t want it and the lad walked away whilst Iain had the shame of walking to the sin bin for 5 minutes as he was shown a green card. This was when Lindum thought they could get the advantage in the game and put some pressure on us with constant attempts into the D. The boys held strong and absorbed it for a long old while till a congestion shot on goal made Blair blind to where the ball was and slipping past him to make it a tasty finale. 2-1, BOOOOOOOO. The rest of the half was all the visitors in control after the piled on even more pressure with an absolute short corner frenzy with about 6 short corner attacks in a row, but the boys short corner defences held strong and they couldn’t get anything past us. Durham tried to get out our half but struggled to do so on many occasions and were still under constant pressure from Lindum, this lead to numerous shots from the edge of the D where unfortunately I got caught in no mans land and got nailed square in the back. Let’s just say I don’t think I would have survived on the front line. Another short corner then came from that to which they decided to even the score and nail their own player and relieve some pressure on us. The last 5 minutes were probably the most tense of the season, Blair got bored in goal and started going for a wonder outside his D running down the man himself and in all fairness winning it. What a king! Blair decided though that this wasn’t enough of an adventure and decided to go for another leaving myself in the middle of the net, and lets just say I am not as good as Blair in goal as I took one to the stomach and a p flick was given to the visitors in the dying minutes. Everyone nervously waited on to see if Lindum would claim a comeback point… BUT NOOOO THE BRICK WALL EVEN HUMPTY DUMPTY WOULDN’T FALL OFF SAVED IT!!!! Blair choosing the right way got his body in front of it and saves the day! 3 points added to the already healthy total of points now making us 19-2-0.

Final Score - 2-1 To the boys in black and gold

MOM - goes to Repton Pirlo and Blair respectively as they were both very key in the win

DOD - Grey Sleeves aka Iain Mason

Now for the night out antics. Everyone met up at the Waterhouse ready for a night of Karaoke but the lads being at the rugby club seeing some down the hole you could definitely tell as the skipper was off to the greatest of starts drinking a rogue pint of Moretti left at the bar thinking it was his. But onto the Karaoke. To say that the 2hrs was well spent is an understatement! I think key performance of what I can remember go to Will for his version of Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, and dropped us a little secret of that he used to be in a choir and my god his voice is angelic. Thank you for blessing us with that Will. Highlighting some other performances should go to Anth’s performance of something everyone has struggled to remember as I’ve asked multiple sources which no one can recall which he was made to do due to being fashionably late and he did not disappoint along with Stevie’s rendition of Don’t look back in anger, I didn’t know the M1 were filled with such incredible voices. On from the Karaoke we went to Katie O’Brians which was absolutely jam packed but everyone was loving it especially when the duo act on stage played Belter by Gerry Cinnamon an absolute DCHC favourite. Another highlight of this trip was MK being again swayed by the shot lady and buying her whole tray and of about 9 shots and gave them out to everyone. At this point I did notice a certain someone disappearing into the night sky like batman, I wont be naming any names but you know who you are. I can’t exactly pin point how long we were in there for but the vibes were high and we were on a roll. Then whispers started to come about the skipper leaving us to go to Lloyds and demanded everyone to follow suit. After everyone complaining that its paid entry and going to likely dead, Rohil backed out a £20 and said a wise man once said always have cash on you as you never know when you might need it. Once inside Lloyds complete chaos followed as the skipper was completely battered, I don’t even think he knew where he was at this point. Hope the head is feeling okay this morning. More things to point out was Duncan and Rohil sitting on the sticky floor of Lloyds contemplating life its seems followed up by Tania doing the worm across it. I also believe the medicine of a few pints and shots fixed Stevie’s foot as he was dancing like he was in a Brazil carnival for the rest of the night. Overall though was an absolute class night and everyone seemed to have absolutely loved it.

We have a bye week next week so no hockey but that is followed up by our final game of the season away and Lindum, so see you then!

#MaidenFortress #AllezAllezAllez
#AngelicVoices