Ben Rhydding M2s 0 - 1 Durham City M1s

The Oxford English Dictionary defines the following words -

Wet - "covered or saturated with water or another liquid"

Cold - "of or at a low or relatively low temperature, especially when compared with the human body"

Windy - "characterized by or exposed to strong winds"

Not satisfied with simply reading these definitions from some old book - the mighty DCHC M1s decided to experience them in the flesh by travelling to somewhere far far away - over hills, dales and across weak bridges - to Ben Rhydding Hockey Club for the final match before the Christmas break. After crushing Donny over 2 matches, it was the Rhydding now in second place and the closest challenges to the Duzza boys.

As hinted at above the journey to Ilkley was eventful. After multiple warnings about some seriously effective traffic lights - some of the gold convoy decided to go via Ripon and some very bumpy roman roads. Despite his reputation of sh*thousery, centre back Alex Peters showed a more philosophical side - questioning if it was indeed possible to reach the end of a rainbow. There was also a fitting tribute to Shane MacGowan as Fairytale of New York was belted out strongly by all members of the car - with the Durham players arriving at the opposition wiping away a few stray tears at the emotion of it all. Resident travel expert Chris Hepworth was sat smugly in the clubhouse on arrival - having looked into the traffic lights and concluded that their delay was negligible. Mind games from the opposition?

There was a quick recap of the Christmas social - some post boat race analysis and how we vow to do better at the EOSM. (Genie may be getting a call up to the M1s). Alex tried to flog a few dodgy chamois grips - although he did have to tell Plymming what they were first. It was game time.

The weather at this point was starting to turn. Freezing rain and strong wind in combination meant that even the warm up was looking fraught with perils. Duncan put on his 5 layers of undergarments, and then lead the lads on the only dry yet narrow strip of pavement in the vicinity. Even this prooved slippery and the team gasped in horror as dragflick specialist Matt Dobison took a tumble. Luckily he was wearing One Hockey's entire winter range as well as a pair of ice hockey gloves so no harm done. It was become more apparent as we got onto the pitch that the conditions were going to hamper quality hockey - it was hard to see, hear and hold a stick. The game began.

Ben Rhydding were certainly a different beast to the team that had lost 7-1 at Maiden Castle earlier in the season. It was shame really that the weather was so poor as it could have been an absolute classic. Nevertheless the game started intensely with Rhydding having most of the ball. Chance creation for both teams was tricky as that final bit of quality or killer pass was genuinely difficult in the conditions. After settling some initial nerves and some good goalkeeping from big Blair Fotheringham, Durham started to grow into the game. The breakthrough game when Ben Baker got onto the ball in an advanced left back position - and delivered what is now official termed a wang - towards the back post. However this was no ordinary wang. This was a Ben Baker disguised super fast bullet wang - and JB (John Berry) was on hand to deflect into the goal. 1-0 Durham. Durham ended the first half on top - and as the half time whistle blew ran to the dugout to huddle like Emperor Penguins to try and retain as much warmth as possibe. Duncans head was very cold.

The halftime team was almost prophetic from Matt Kettley - keep calm, there is a good chance of a card or controversial decision that could affect this game. Not wanting to ruin the match report - both JB and Mason (twice) obliged - getting 3 green cards between them over the course of the second half. Luckily it was spread across the half so the remaining 10 men could battle through. As a forward - this author was mightly impressed how our defence managed to continue to play functional hockey. Chris, Alex, Dobbo, Duncan and Ben continued to transfer the ball around and battle away as the game became increasingly affected by the conditions. The more attacking players had to simply run to keep warm, and focus really hard when the ball came near them to not drop their stick, try and control the ball, and ideally pass it to a teammate. At one point the home team goal blew away - and the Rhydding players had to scramble to use a spare goal to lock it into position. Very few real chances were crafted in the conditions, and the second half was slogged out in midfield with Blair chattering his tooth in the cold. After some last pressure from the home side - Matt Kettley managed to run the ball away to the opposition corner flag and kill the final 30 seconds of the game - the whistle blew. What a win all things considered - 11 wins out of 11, 13 points clear at the top of the table.

The showers were warm (thank the lord or we may have been rushing to A+E with Hypothermia) and sausage beans and chips helped warm us back up. We all travelled home via the traffic lights, which did add about 2 minutes to the journey.

MoM - Ben Baker - solid, and great wang. Mentions to all the defenders however and JB for the goal

DoD - Iain Mason - becoming a regular occurrence for the Director of Hockey