Durham City M1s 6 - 0 Doncaster M2s

If last week’s fixture was built up to be a titanic clash between two mighty forces, this week would be more aptly described as a Biblical tale. David (Donny) was tasked with downing the Goliath of Durham after our strong performance at their place last week. In the exciting pre-game news Mason had found himself a black friday deal on a new “drag-flicking” stick. The choice of an extra lowbow seemed odd as we didn’t know Mason actually dragflicked anymore. Rob was surprisingly available as his regatta debut was cancelled. Perhaps this was because his team were worried about the boat capsizing, or he had found out it required more than five seconds of physical effort. Anyway, he found a nice spot on the bench. Lastly, there was a debut for Rohil who had deserted uni hockey for the far superior Durham club.

Durham started poorly. The intensity that seemed to be infectious last week had gone missing. Lacklustre is the word that summed up the opening stages. There were no great swarms of wasps this week. Doncaster on the other hand had come with a clear gameplan, sitting in a half court press, and pouncing on the Durham midfield. If we were to break down the opposition defence, patience and the ‘John Barnes’ rap would be key. A rap that was noticeably absent at the pre-game meeting from the skipper this week. It seemed to take an age for Durham to get into the game despite dominating possession. The crowded nature of the opposition D meant it was a struggle to create any clear chances, it would take twenty minutes to find the opener. However, a double dose of brilliance was to break the deadlock. An incredible delivery from Dobbo, colloquially termed a ‘wang’, flew into the D, and was expertly deflected by Anth ‘Aerial Picker’ Hulse. One-Nil. A goal that could provide the perfect catalyst to kickstart Durham’s free flowing attacks.

Indeed it did provide the spark that led to a flurry of Durham goals. The first of which was the best passing move of the entire game. Alex chucked an aerial out from the back to Will who then played it back to Rob. He found Matt on the baseline, who was at least adhering to the famous line from the JB rap himself even if he hadn’t mentioned it to the team. Just for clarification it’s not a John Berry rap, although if he did have a verse or two up his sleeve the Christmas social is not far away! Speaking of JB, Matt fired the ball across the face of goal for the simplest of tap ins for John. Justice for the goal steal last week. Two-Nil. A slick passing move that was both simple and clinical. Sadly Durham found it difficult to repeat this for the remainder of the game. However, the goals kept coming. Barely a minute later, Dobbo was on the ball again and fired an even better pass between a gap in the Donny defence. Returning to the Biblical themes, it was as if the Red Sea (Donny Team) was parted by the ball, and it found Rohil who deflected it past the keeper for the third. An excellent debut goal, putting him ahead of this fair-haired reporter’s goal tally. I’ll get there one day!

Once more did Durham find the net before half-time. A goal so certain and predictable that I could leave out the description and the entire team would be able to picture it like it was right there in front of them. Three minutes before the interval, Durham won a short corner. As certain as day becomes night, Dobbo bottom left, goal. Four-Nil. Durham were now in total ascendancy as another short corner was won on the half-time whistle. Uncharacteristically our routines were not as polished as normal, and an off-target injection was then slapped behind to signal an end to the first period.

The second half was much of the same if not a little bit scrappy. Durham were full of miss-traps and bobbly passes that restricted our attacking returns. Although what the second half lacked in quality hockey it made up for in some comical moments. The first came from a short corner. Mason stood over the left castle, gripping his new wand ready for a devastating flick. It was certainly a painful blow to take, but not for the opposition. The ball was flicked high off the deck to crash squarely into Matt’s back, and he went down like he had been shot. Next time use your stick skip. Rob searching for a wonder goal like the one away at Whitley Bay, had got the wrong club out of the bag. His pitching wedge reverse sailed handsomely high and wide. Midway through the period Durham were to find a fifth goal, again from a short corner. A slight miss-trap meant Dobbo had to Drag the ball from well outside the D, but it found the bottom corner, nonetheless. Taking his tally to two goals and two assists.

Other second half highlights must also include some AP antics. Not only is he a good hockey player but somewhat of a joker as well, as the Donny forward line were discovering. A sharp turn inside hung the Donny forward out to dry. As he simultaneously broke the poor lad’s ankles, a “whey” protruded from the lips of young Alex. He was to counter this childish exuberance with a stunning cross pitch diagonal pass to Duncan a few minutes later. A pass that left the onlooking bench purring. Sadly, Duncan freely admitted he had a nosebleed after entering the D and ran directly into the Donny defender’s flat stick. A goal of the season opportunity missed? Durham were to wrap up the game with a sixth goal shortly before full time. Another corner this time professionally executed. A routine that is rapidly becoming known as THE PLYMING. From my distant view on the halfway line it was beautiful to witness. The accurate drag along the deck was perfect for The Dragon to lift it on his reverse over the keeper into the roof of the net. A goal so picturesque it begs the question, why do we do any other corner routines? But then we remember there is a drag flicking specialist in the team. Mason! Six-Nil. Not the best of performances but another solid win.

After today’s brace Dobbo goes clear at the top of the goal scorers list for the year. Durham now have more wins so far this campaign than we could muster in the entire season last year. Highlighting the astonishing season that has begun. Durham also have scored more goals in ten games than we did for the entire twenty-two the previous season. Let the scoring continue. Next week is another home fixture and the second return game of the season against Wakefield.

MOM: Dobbo – Two goals and two assists. Quality personified.

DOD: Alex – For quite literally being a …

#Wetwipe #TargetOnTheBack #WangIt #TNS7